Friday, June 29, 2012

I Don't Love It When We're Cruise-ing Together

It was only a few days ago that I thought to myself, "man, I haven't written ANYTHING celebrity-related in forever." It was crazy to think because that's what actually got me started with this whole blogging thing. I don't know what it is exactly, but none of my Hollywood standbys have been inspiring me as of late. I mean seriously- can you handle one more piece of news from the Kardashians? (By the way, Kendall & Kylie are writing a book. Society- you're welcome.)

That is, until today. 

Today started as normal days often do. My friend Hannah and her boyfriend Mike stayed with us last night en route to a wedding. After seeing them off this morning, I debated washing the dishes from the delicious meal that Steve just happen to whip together last night for the four of us. I also thought about making my bed. I know the suspense is killing you, but you'll be shocked to hear I didn't do either of those things because for like the third day this week I fell victim to those damn Retro MTV Laguna Beach marathons. I don't know what I'm going to do- it's the 4th of July and Hills week begins. It's basically like Sophie's Choice

Finally I got it together and got ready for work. After I got there, I went straight out to the floor because we were relatively busy. As I do every Friday at 2:30, I bolted back to my desk to print my schedule by 3:00. In a quick distracted moment, I glanced at my phone and discovered this: 

the scalera women always have their priorities in check


There is was, in black and white. And from my own mother. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are divorcing after five years and one adorable alien baby together. And by divorcing, I mean Katie waited until he went to friggen Iceland and filed divorce papers without his knowledge. 

I have only a handful of skills, and most of them are unhelpful. Alerting the general public about the goings on of celebrities and their relationships is one of the things that brings me joy in life. And my real job is getting in the way of the fake job that I have created in my head. 

I was on my way to work when Amy Winehouse died. I had to be informed via text message by my coworker Jaimie. I literally had to pull over to compose a Facebook status. I was like the third person on my News Feed to do so. It was devastating. I was also at work the night Whitney Houston died. My coworker Becky had to call it out over the walkie. I was also at work when Michael Jackson died, which I heard from someone who worked in the bistro. I was mortified.

Okay, I just realized that all of those instances involved death. Maybe my working is bad luck for famous people... who are also drug addicts. 

Thankfully, Halloween is my favorite holiday and I smartly took the day off even though it was a Monday. And good thing I did, because who goes and gets herself divorced? Kim Freaking Kardashian, that's who. And within an hour, it was blogged. BAM!

So here I was, at work, in the height of a rush on the sales floor and also drowning in my own procrastination, faced with what has the potential to be the biggest scandal of 2012. In a moment of panic, I decided to give myself permission one minute to compose a status. Unfortunately, in the process of sharing the Us Weekly link, I discovered Adele was PREGNANT. Like, with a child. And there was no time. I was literally staring down the clock. Why do bad things always happen to me?!

I hit "print" and ran to the printer. RAN. For someone who engages in little to no athletic activity, I was lucky that I wore my Puma flats that day. The traction really helped when I was taking the corners around the break room. To which I was greeted by fits of giggles from my coworkers who had just discovered my status. I quickly made thirteen copies of my schedule, threw them in everyone's mailboxes, and hightailed it back around the break room to get back to my desk. Then I took on the daunting task of telling EVERYONE. 

It's a difficult life I lead, but someone has to do it. 

After the initial high wore off, I started to really think about the bomb that had dropped. I feel like we all forgot that a mere seven years ago, this crazy "love" story began. Remember what a joke these two were at the start? Their relationship was accused of every weird celebrity conspiracy theory in the book- promoting their summer blockbusters (Batman Begins & War of the Worlds), concealing Cruise's sexuality (whatever that is), brainwashing, etc. Basically everything except love. And then out of nowhere, Katie's pregnant with what could be a Beyonce-style faux belly pad and then no one saw the baby FOR FIVE MONTHS. Then when everyone did finally get a look at her, they were bombarded with a twenty-two page spread. Oh, and it just happened to be shot by Annie Leibovitz. 

who would have thought that hairy little
girl would become the most fashionable
kid in the world?!

I think that is the thing that seemed so sketchy about this relationship. Everything was done in excess. When they first went public with their relationship in the summer of 2005, they weren't just spotted leaving a restaurant together or something normal, they went on a European publicity tour and made out on every red carpet they encountered. People were like "hey, we didn't even know you guys were dating... and isn't she engaged to on of the Pie guys?" and they were all like "we're obsessed with each other slobber slobber slobber." When asked how he felt about Katie, Tom responded by scaring the crap out of Oprah and essentially ruining her couch. When they finally got married, they did so at a star studded event at a castle in Rome. When Tom spoke about his much scrutinized belief in Scientology, he verbally assaulted Matt Lauer on the Today show and then focused his attention on being horrible to pregnant women suffering from post-partum. The whole things was.just.crazy.

And then they stayed married for a year. And then another year. Suri grew up and quickly became the most famous tot in Hollywood (and to think, I thought it was going to be Shiloh? I mean, who knew?!). After a while, people seem like they just got used to them. And I don't know if their PR people finally talked Tom off the ledge or they weened Katie off whatever meds she was forced on in '05, but the two of them together started to make sense, or at least it stopped being ridiculous and offensive. 

Until today. Of course we know nothing yet, but as they always do, details have to come out. I'm just counting down the days until an Oprah's Next Chapter interview or something. My own personal theory that I have deduced from knowing nothing about them and only believing what I see on television (which is like, 95% accurate I believe in this case) is that Katie had some kind of contract with him to be married to him for a certain amount of time. I wouldn't be surprised if Nicole Kidman had the same thing back in the day. I mean there is just something not normal about that guy. I'm sure they have a rock solid prenup, but I guarantee Katie would give it up in a second if it meant she didn't have to go back to that dungeon in the basement. I don't think it's something as simple as being his beard, although I'm not convinced he's 100% straight. As our friend Rocky would say, he's probably about a fourteen on the scale. I don't remember what the rest of the numbers mean, but let's just say a fourteen isn't John Wayne or anything. And being gay is so not as huge a deal as it used to be. If you don't believe me, listen to these words of wisdom from my husband today:

Me: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are getting divorced.
Steve: I don't care. Is it because he's gay? (so much for not caring)
Me: No. I mean, he could be, but I don't think that's the whole reason.
Steve: If you're gay, just be gay. All the gays are always having fun and I'm stuck here paying bills. 
Me: Wow. What an argument for homosexual marriage.
Steve: I don't give a shit who anyone marries. Just be happy.

So there you have it. According to Steve, Tom Cruise is definitely gay and being gay is awesome because apparently you're somehow excused from financial responsibilities.



Tuesday, June 26, 2012

MMM: Hi Ho, Anthro

This may come as a shock to all you fashion bloggers out there, but I have never bought anything from Anthropologie.

I know. I've been disowned, right?

Slight correction: I have physically purchased items from Anthro before. But only for gifts (I'm looking at you, Liz) and never anything for myself. Why? Well number one, I feel like it's super expensive. Like too expensive for what it actually is. Also almost everything there looks like it came out of a flea market. I just feel like it's lotsa buck, very little bang, you know?

Despite that, I am mildly obsessed with their merchandising. I have countless pics on my phone of their amazing window displays. I mean, the coral reef/plastic cup thing they have going on right now is AH-Mazing.

So like usual, while doing my lunch hour laps around the mall, I found myself wandering in and actually liking quite a few items. Like a lot. I found so many things I decided that this week's Mall Madness Monday post would be Anthro-centric.

Disclaimer: I still think this stuff is pretty damn expensive. Also I'm convinced half the clothes I like will show up at Forever 21 within six months. But still, a girl can dream, right?

Disclaimer Addendum: No, you are not crazy. Well you are, but that's besides the point. It is in fact Tuesday, not Monday as this post would suggest. I flaked on my MMM post last night and woke up panicking that all my loyal followers would be disappointed (to the four of you, my sincerest apologies). If you can believe it, I actually went to the gym after work last night and then came home and watched Mean Girls in its entirety on E! And while I loved every second of it, I was bummed with myself that I didn't uphold the one established theme on my blog. Sorry, peeps. Let's still be friends. 

Also, a PS: I dedicate this post to my husband, because every time I see the Anthropologie logo I think of him and laugh (which is why I am such a joy to be married to, obv). When we went to NYC a few years ago, he saw an Anthro store for the first time and ran towards it like he had found the mothership. You can understand as an anthropology major, he had very little connection to anything cool in the outside world. And finally, here was an entire store meant for someone just like him! He thought he found his place in the world when he encountered all of the shabby chic furniture that looks like I-picked-this-from-a-barn-in-Vermont-but-really-I-paid-$998-for-a-looks-like-it-was-used-but-it-really-wasn't-dresser. And then he saw all the women's clothes. And then he ran. 

But more importantly... the stuff.

so clearly i was drawn to this. part nautical, part little
house on the prairie. but doesn't this look like something
that will end up at f21 for way less than $128? the tradeoff
is it'll be about eight inches shorter. priorities.

i think this is totes adorbs, mainly because i never
realized those letters were next to each other in the
alphabet before. but i know at least three creative
crafty people that would be all like "i can make this."
i invite them to go ahead & i volunteer to be their test

i've been eying this dress for some time because the color
is divine. yes, it's a baby doll style dress, which will make
you either look like you are a baby or just carrying one.
also it's like a super heavy brocade- worst summer dress
fabric ever. but doesn't it just look like something our
girl elle woods would rock at a garden party? yes, she's
still real to me. 

i almost love the books & stationary at anthro more than the
clothes. actually most of the time that's true. as much as i love
all my techno devices, i still really love writing things on paper...
with a pencil. i call these the "anti-writer's block" series. my
birthday is july 31, btw...

how beautiful are these cups? i mean they're completely
impractical, but so lovely. first of all, they are baby sized.
this is what i imagine cindy lou hoo drank out of when she saw
the grinch in the middle of the night. i drink water out of the
largest container i can find- carafe, trough, whatever. these are
like, fancier dixie cups.

i am all about florals right now. just in my head, because
i don't actually own any of this stuff in real life. i searched
high & low for inexpensive floral shorts the other day (because
let's face it- how long is this trend really going to last for?) &
found nothing. that doesn't mean i'm going to spring for this $118
pair, but i'm mentally pinning this pattern as we speak.

haven't you always wanted a big old slab of petrified wood
to serve appetizers on? oops, scratch that, this isn't actually
safe to eat off of. i still think it's cool. although knowing steve,
he would find a way to chop up a petrified log, or petrify a log,
or whatever you have to do to make this, just so i could save the $48.

i'd imagine mary poppins would describe me "perfectly
imperfect in every way." well, she's probably too nice to say
that, but she might buy me this book. i'm a sucker for
anything domino-adjacent. i'm still in mourning over that one. 

these are boxes filled with postcards of old books & vanity
fair covers. i die. but also i don't like that many people enough
to send them these & trust they won't toss them in the garbage
can. but we should all send a few more postcards, & who
knows? maybe the world will be a better place. unless i'm the
one sending them.

i love cutesy stationary. i love it from anywhere,
papyrus to christmas tree shop. also i have a bin
full & still always feel like i need more. these
ones adorably represent four different countries!
& the girl has a scooter & a head scarf! so jealous.

So what do you think, Anthro-shoppers? Are the prices worth it? Is the store your happy place among a barrage of retailers with pushy salespeople and bad lighting? Or is the craft fair vibe just a little too much for you?


Monday, June 18, 2012

MMM: Shorter is Sweeter

This post is like the Tom Cruise of Mall Madness Monday posts- a little on the short side. 

To be honest, I was relatively uninspired with my mall surrounding this week. However, I still managed to scrounge up a few pic-worthy products for your viewing pleasure (but really, for my wish list.)


i admit, this blazer looks totally old lady sofa on the hanger. but i tried
it on, & it's pretty fabulous. of course you'd have to rock it with some
skinnies & killer heels to undowdy it up.

j crew

of course i've been lusting over the bubble necklace since being introduced
to the world of fashion blogs, but the latest color to debut really has me
fooled into thinking that $150 for fake jewelry is totally worth it.

forever 21

theses sort of remind me of the colored enamel kate spade bangles, &
obviously i love anything that i can pretend that it cost way more than
i actually spent on it.

victoria's secret

clearly i'm a sucker for anything red, white & blue. so i'm excited that
with the summer olympics looming, tons of brands are featuring patriotic duds.
because nothing says "i'm cheering on my country" like sequined push up bras.

Looks like I have my work cut out for me this week. Time to hit the mall running. Until then!


Thursday, June 14, 2012

Apparently I'm Not Young Or Hip. But I Still Wanna Be A Supermodel

I decided that on my day off today, I was going to be super productive. I made a list as long as the pad of paper would allow and accomplished nearly everything on it. Go me. Would have it just been easier to watch Bravo shows that are currently filling my DVR up to a dangerous 90% and eat shredded cheese right out of the bag? Sure. But my goal was to feel a sense of accomplishment by the day's end, and dammit, for once I promised myself I wouldn't get distracted. 

And I was only half kidding about the DVR/cheese thing. Okay I'm not kidding at all, cause it actually happened. But only as an interlude between important tasks.

Most of my goals today were cleaning related, one of which was to clean out my makeup bag. I am the queen of having expensive makeup explode on me for no reason, unless you count throwing the bag in my purse as I run out the door/consistently hitting it off the bathroom counter as reasons. I don't. If I buy a bronzer for $22 it should basically be indestructible. Are you listening, Clinique?

Luckily for me, I only buy makeup during free gift with purchase promotions, so I have plenty of cosmetic bags to last me the rest of my life. See, I may have mentioned that I work in a mall, and if you stay on top of all the major department stores, brands usually do a promotion once a year at each store. So theoretically, you could get one at Macys in the spring, Lord & Taylor in the summer, and so on. This equation doesn't really work if you have a life, so don't count on working this method unless you have absolutely nothing else to amuse yourself during your hour long breaks.

I don't know if you recalled the Great Counting Post of 2012, but my reputation as a hoarder clearly precedes me. However, I didn't think this was really an issue when it came to makeup, because I essentially use the same products every day and buy the exact same colors when they run out. As much as I am obsessed with never wearing my hair the same way and stocking up on the latest (cheap) accessories, I have never been a big experimenter when it comes to makeup. I knew I possessed more than what was in my daily bag, but couldn't remember what exactly.

A whole lot of old crappy makeup. That's what I had.

I went through my entire makeup drawer thingy that I bought in a post-Caboodle's-being-cool world and apparently there is still a thirteen year-old girl living in there. First of all, once again, the entire thing was coated in busted up bronzer. How it's even possible I've destroyed this many is beyond me. After removing all the contents and crazily scrubbing the interior with seven makeup remover towelettes, I started taking stock of the contents and forcing myself to part with all the things that I had freakishly saved for so long that were probably going to give me cancer if I used them again.

Brands like Jane, Bonne Bell and the aforementioned Caboodle ran rampant. There was a cupcake flavored shimmer Lip Smacker gloss that I'm positive is from the ninth grade. I'm going to be twenty seven next month. I.Have.A.Problem. This is what the lip gloss/stick drawer looked like before:

I had about ten shades of pink glitter that I haven't worn in years. Those all got tossed. I had seven tubes of the Victoria's Secret Beauty Rush lip gloss that I know that there's no way that even I purchased. Half of them had to have been free. Also four of them were the same color. I had three pots of non-existent gloss that you have to use your finger to put on. I hate those. Gone.

I have to admit that part of the reason I did this is to make room for a new friend: The J Crew Poppy King lipstick. I finally ordered it last night. I first heard of this through one of my fav blogs MODG. I didn't even know it was still available, but it is! And it's on sale on the J Crew site! And since I will do anything in my power to look like a J Crew model short of actually buying any of the clothes (mainly because I can't afford it and would like to stay married), my $13 purchase was enough to make me feel a little more stylish. So I need to make room. I couldn't have Poppy slumming in with ten year-old tubes of Wet N Wild.

So after the lips, I moved onto the eye drawer. I pretty much wear some version of a bronzey cream shadow every day, so when I found seven different kinds of purple, I was beyond confused. I probably wake up and decide to throw on a violet lid maybe one day a year. I heard one time that purple was a good color for brown eyes so I clearly purchased all of plum toned shadows that CVS had to offer. I got rid of a few that didn't have caps and again, anything that I remembered having in middle school.

The top part was where the Great Bronzer Explosion struck the hardest. That shit was EVERYWHERE. That will go down as one of the greatest mysteries in my bathroom, and I live with a boy. There wasn't much left in there after I threw out green concealer from Woolworth's (which clearly doesn't exist anymore), a few pairs of old fake eyelashes (that I planned on reusing?! ick) and multiple used makeup sponges. Seriously- how did this become my life?

I felt a lot better afterwards, and was actually kind of inspired discovering that I had all these colors (of purple, at least). Now I'm determined to not only keep my makeup area clean but to actually use these things and mix it up a little bit more.

But there's one issue here: my everyday makeup. I can't quit what I think is a good thing. Even though I have thousands of magazine clippings on new and exciting trends in cosmetics, even though I could spend hours on Pinterest discovering techniques I didn't know existed, even though my bff/hair dresser/prom date is an amazing make up artist, I just have the hardest time getting out of a makeup rut. The number one reason is that I'm lazy and sleep in as much as possible, and putting on makeup requires not only getting up a few minutes early but also opening your eyes, which is difficult for me in the AM. Half the time I put my makeup on in the car when I get to work if I have a few minutes to spare. Don't judge me, I don't have mirrors in my bathroom. There's more natural light out there. However after Steve recently cleaned my relatively new car and discovered how much makeup residue was on my passenger door from me opening it after I've freshly applied every morning, I've started to be a little more aware and made myself promise I would put my makeup on at home, and then wash my hands. Only instead I'm still sleeping as late as possible and have just started carrying eye makeup remover wipes in my purse that I swipe my fingers with before I touch anything in the car. That's called adapting.

The other thing is that I have this weird tendency to keep all of my fancy expensive makeup in it's original packaging. Don't worry, numerous people have affirmed me that this is weird, and adds way more time to your routine when you're spending precious seconds getting your blush and and out of it's tiny box. I'm a visual person and also crazy, and to me the packaging is part of what makes makeup expensive. If you buy a tube of Revlon lip stick at Walmart and it doesn't come in a box, that means that thirty people could have opened it, tried it, smelled it, and whatever else people do when they think no one is watching.

This bag is comprised of the following items that I wear everyday/have been wearing for the past two years:

-Clinique Perfectly Real Makeup Foundation in Shade 02
-Diorskin Nude Skin Perfecting Hydrating Concealer in 002 Beige (guys- for serious, this concealer is, as my coworker would say, the But it costs $30, and it's worth every penny. I never would have bought anything that is .33 fluid ounces for that much if I hadn't tried it in Sephora after crying out for help because I was physically unable to find a concealer that hid all my undereye baggage. This stuff works. They are not paying me to say that, but if they wanted to, I would accept concealer as a form of currency. Also it's probably the only thing from Dior I will ever own. In my life.)
-Clinique Stay-Matte Sheer Pressed Powder in 01 Stay Buff
-Clinique Almost Bronzer SPF 15 in 01 Light/Medium (okay, how a powder that you put on like, 1/3 of your face can have SPF in it is beyond me)
-Clinique Blushing Blush in 108 Cupid
-Clinique Lid Smoothie Antioxidant 8-Hour Eye Colour in 04 Gingerly (seriously, I wear this under everything. And it does last a really long time)
-Clinique Colour Surge Eye Shadow Trio (I have no idea which color I'm using because this is one of the few things I've gotten as a free gift that I can't live without, and it doesn't actually exist for purchase anywhere. However, all of the colors are available separately, so that's what I've resorted to buying, hence the following...)
-Clinique Colour Surge Eye Shadow Duo in 103 Buttered Bronze (this I bought only to use the dark color for my crease. $14 well spent.)
-Sally Hansen eyelash curler (oh.em.gee this thing is amazing. I bought it under pressure because there were too many eyelash curlers to choose from and I panicked and just grabbed this, but I'm glad I did because it's really good.)
-Benefit BAD Gal Lash in Rich Black (I buy it in the mini tube from Sephora because it's under $10 and the real stuff is like $19. Also I don't wear mascara everyday so I don't go through a ton.)

What's really crazy is that I buy more Clinique stuff than any other label (clearly), and like I said, I'm a total whore when it comes to those free gifts. I've literally had to start giving away Dramatically Different Moisturizing Lotion away for Christmas gifts, I have so many. In fact, I love my "special" makeup so much I have a nice little spot for it away from all the drug store brands and exploding compacts:

I can't even tell you how many colors of that lipstick I have that I have never worn, and not one of them was purchased by me. See, part of the reason that they're "free gifts" is because they're colors no one wants. However, you do get a choice usually so I always pick the least hideous and think I'm walking away with something exclusive that no one else has figured out.

So I guess I'm a hoarder in another aspect of my life. Wonderful. Do you think there's any area in which I'm a minimalist? Other than watching the news or cooking?

What products are you so obsessed with you would buy them no matter what they cost? Are you also a slave to the same color scheme everyday, year after year? Are you okay with it? And more importantly, how will my life change with the arrival of Poppy King? So many important questions.

Until then,


Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Let's Go Ride A Bike

So I'm sure that all you savvy readers noticed that in my Mall Madness Monday post last week, I may have mentioned that I purchased a bicycle. And I know that you have been salivating as you hover over your computer, waiting for details as to how I came to such an important decision. 

Like many other important life decisions, I devoted quite a bit of my time and energy thinking about this. Like, a full week and a blog post. Serious stuff. 

After being unsuccessful at not one, but two Targets, I took the opportunity to hit up the one in Salem, NH when I was home last weekend, because I figured if anything I would save on sales tax. I was pleasantly surprised to find that they even had any women's bikes in stock at all, because the other two I had visited were sold out of every bike meant for a female over the age of six (sorry, Dora- I just don't think it was meant to be for us). 

Although the pink bicycle with the basket was the one I was really hoping to see in person, they only had a similar model, sans basket. I was bummed, but even I knew that you can't buy a bike on impulse via the Internet. In fact, the Lulu bike was heavier than I imagined, and I could barely lift it let alone ride it. But then I discovered the Schwinn Majestic and figured I would give it a whirl. The only thing is, it was really... orange.

But the more time I spent with it (i.e. riding it around the aisles in Target) the more I started to like it. Not only was it offensively orange, but it also had pink, yellow and white accents with polka dots! I wasn't the only one who thought it was totes adorbs.

Eight year old in Target: That is a cool bike.
Me whizzing by her: I know, right?
Eight year old eating my dust: I should get a bike like that.
Me halfway across the store: You really should. 

So I was sold. And it was the only bike on sale, so I ended up getting it for $143, which was way cheaper than the $180 I thought I was going to be spending, which leaves just enough in the budget for a cute helmet! Which Target definitely did not have. 

ta da! cute helmet definitely not included.

Slight problem, as this was an unexpected shopping trip and I hadn't really put any thought into how we were going to get it home. We were in my Nissan Rogue, which while it's a small SUV, it would have been way more convenient had we been in Steve's X Terra. Also these retro style bikes are totally not conducive to throwing them in a trunk as the fenders add a lot of extra metal to be concerned about denting. Which probably means I'm going to need to get an ugly bike rack or something. Ugh. 

After swearing under his breathe about his anger over how much stuff I had in my car (like boxes of old magazines that I refuse to toss out before I go through and clip out articles or pictures I may like), reconfiguring the bike every which way in my trunk without any sort of schematics, and slicing his finger open on God knows what, Steve was able to load the Majestic into the car for the voyage home. Unfortunately, home meant my in-laws garage as I don't have anywhere to actually store the bike at my apartment. 

So it's been over a week, and I hadn't even seen the Majestic (okay, it just occurred to me that I really need a cuter name) let alone ridden it outside of the aisles at Target. Steve and I were both off today, and since he works at a restaurant and I work in retail, we like to pretend that Mondays are our Sundays. With the great weather today, it seemed like as good a time as any to test out my new bike. 

air steven

By the time we got to his parents house, loaded up the bikes and drove to the Milford bike path, it was 1:30 in the afternoon. Fortunately, this gave me plenty of time to figure out what I was going to wear. 


It had been so long since I had seen my bike, I almost forgot how adorable it was! And so appropriate for an (almost) twenty seven year old!

Now I'm not what you would call the most athletic, coordinated or graceful, and I don't think that I had ridden a bike since I got my driver's license. But I was determined to have  a good time and maybe even get in my weekly (okay... biweekly) amount of exercise. And if I was going to do it, I wanted to do it right. 

Me: So, what gear should I be in?
Steve: I am guessing that you will be a first gear girl for the rest of your life. 

Ouch. That's accurate, but it still hurts. 

We ended up riding for probably a half an hour. I know. I need to work on my muscles. And stamina. And breath support. Also I am now on the hunt for the perfect basket. And this helmet. 

apparently, audrey hepburn is the only one that can get away with capris on a bike.

But this bike is called a "cruiser" for a reason. It's meant for coasting!

watch out

After this we headed to the Purchase Street market across the street. After all the strenuous exercise, I need nourishment. Steve and I both indulged in our favorite lunches. 

cranberry walnut chicken salad.
apparently "small" is also code for "the size of your head"

tortellini salad. lunch of champions & cruisers alike

I'm exhausted from all that activity. So I'm going to need your help. What should I name my new bike? The Majestic sounds like an old boat. As much as I love all things nautical... we need a cute bicycle name up in here. 


Monday, June 11, 2012

MMM: Sometimes You Feel Like a Nut

I guess there's no theme among my Mall Madness Monday pics this week, unless you count crazy as a theme. Seriously, with the influx of all the blogs I've been reading, I am starting to feel like my taste is all over the place. I guess on one hand it's good, stepping outside your comfort zone (I mean, who would have ever thought that I would be interested in spiky accessories?!) but it also further illustrates my point that trendy items should never be purchased for more than $20, because let's be real: half of this stuff I would probably shudder at six months later. 

So here it is, my slightly eclectic mix of desirables this week. I know, I need help.

steve madden via lord & taylor

so i've never been a "tough" girl, but lately i'm just dying over spikes
left & right. i'm still on the fence about the smoking slippers trend,
but i guess if you're going to do it you might as well go all out, eh?

ann taylor

i just want skinny colored belts, like all the time. is that bad?

forever 21

at the blogger meetup on thursday, i met morgan who was wearing an
amazing peach kate spade statement necklace. she said she got it for a
great deal, so immediately i liked her. this cheapo version is similar in
color & is also available in mint! 

michael kors via tj maxx

this bag is the perfect "i wish this was a real birkin" size. but even at
tj maxx, it's $180. so it's probably just as far away from me as an
actual birkin.

trina turk via banana republic

i am obviously obsessed with this new designer collabo at banana. crazy
colors & patterns are always okay in my book. maybe two years from now
i'll score some at the factory store for 75% off.


again with the spikes. i think they're easiest to wear in jewel form. also
that's the most inconspicuous way to disguise your weapons.

steve madden via tj maxx

per last week's post it's pretty apparent that i want a satchel. i have been
searching high & low for an inexpensive version & have come up short
(because $68 is not inexpensive for a struggling twenty-something, no
matter what anyone says). my sis-in-law gave me the heads up on this
steve madden version @ tj maxx. little sad- no pink, but for $30 the
options there can't be beat. also it's patent & shiny. win win.

sur la table

so i couldn't help but snap a pic of this, but there's a back story. i have this
whale platter that i'm in love with. it's very nautical/vintagey old looking. it's
from a very fancy kitchen store in rockport. it's also plastic. so steve hates it.
he doesn't think expensive things should be plastic. i disagree, because it will
last forever because i won't break it. these are square and plastic & i love them. 

heys via tj maxx

so i have super old pink luggage from the christmas tree shop that is dirty
& disgusting & ripped. but hey, at least it matches. of course i didn't think
to register for new luggage when i got married, so i missed the boat on that
one. but i found these at tj maxx & i just thought they were so cute! they're
hard & there were all different countries represented. plus they're clearly
noticeable so you would never not find your bags at an airport again. unless
someone stole it because they realized how cool you are with your snazzy

Happy Monday!


Monday, June 4, 2012

MMM: You're Always Buzzing Just Like Neon, Neon

Another (Mon)day, another theme. Have I mentioned that I love a good theme? 

I started to notice some pretty sweet neon items throughout the mall when I was seeking out patriotic pieces for my Memorial Day post last week. I am super excited about the neon trend, because I just feel like it's the ultimate fashion representation of my personality. A little loud, but fabulous in small doses. I think some part of me has always had an affinity for slightly abrasive color choices. I think the obsession really started in ninth grade. After outgrowing the smiley face stage (so middle school) I became obsessed with insanely colored pieces that my friends deemed hideous. It never bothered me, and I continued to rock my Old Navy neon green winter vest and fluorescent pink techno pants (not together, duh. That would be in poor taste). 

So now I'm adult and I love neon. It's easiest in small doses, like an accessory or a "notice me" mani, but I'm willing to rock a solid neon shirt now and then. Mainly now. 

Disclaimer: I swear all of the items in these photos are obsessively bright. Due to the awesomeness that is cell phone cameras and the wonders of Instagram, not all of the colors appear as they really are. But I promise, I specifically went hunting for items that were almost painful to the eye. So these things are all THAT BRIGHT in person. 

steve madden via lord & taylor

ahhh i die over these satchels. i've been wanting one FOREVER.
speaking of forever, f21- help a sister out!

victoria's secret

this bra is so pretty. totally unpractical, but pretty. seriously-
who needs neon and lace busting out of their tops?

bellatrix via nordstrom

i know this is offensive. that's why i like it.

j crew

man, head to toe neon is hard. but also awesome. 

ann taylor

i used to think that ann taylor was a store for working mothers. but
they are really rocking some amazing neon accessories lately. also
shout out to their petite section.

nails inc. via sephora

i've never heard of this brand before, & i'm slightly prejudice when it
comes to nail polish. it's either opi or nothing at all. but i discovered
these today while shuffling around sephora & i think they look promising.
also i like that they have a sample of every color of nail polish they carry.


this blouse catches my eye every time i pass the store. it's probably the
#1 on my obsession list right now. i can't not look at. even the color name
just speaks to me- "vivid fuschia." have you ever seen a more gorgeous

oh, btw. it's $110. dreams dashed.

bcbg via 344

i have never bought anything in this store. mainly because it's way overpriced
& i feel like everything in there looks like upcharged charlotte russe merch.
i can say that because i used to work there. but it is really clean & nicely
organized, & they have a warehouse store in the mall.

Happy Monday! Busy week coming up, including a blogger event (yay!), a makeover (aka hair appointment) and a wedding. Oh, the outfits that are needed. 

Oh also, I bought a bike yesterday. But more on that later.