Monday, October 31, 2011

So It's Not A Nice Day For A White Wedding?!

While there are many other topics on my blogging back burner that I have yet to write about, all will be momentarily paused for a moment of silence, as the union of one Kim Kardashian and Kim Humphries is now dead. Ironic, being that it's Halloween and all. Point... Kim?

While there have been rumors of a rift for months now, being a serious journalist myself, I choice not to believe the hype until I heard it from a legitimate source, i.e. US Weekly by way of a Ryan Seacrest tweet.

This comes as a great shock to all of us that thought that these two were different, and that they would defy all the crumbling Hollywood marriages that came before them, but alas, we must accept that this most perfect union is now over.

Who are we kidding. The jokes about these two write themselves. I once read that during Britney's mental breakdown, some magazine outlets already started crafting obituaries for her because that was the direction they thought that she was headed. I imagine they may have prepared in advance for this situation as well and probably have had their "Kim & Kris in Krisis!" articles prepped since before ink was dried on their prenup.

Clearly, no one thought this would last (including myself), although I'm sure that the execs at E! had hope to get at least a year and a baby Kardashian out of the deal at least. I don't think the question is "where did it all go wrong," as it was glaringly obvious to anyone who watched those torturous 4 hours of wedding coverage that these two people were not compatible in the slightest. I think the main thing about this whole thing that is super embarrassing is that everyone, including her own family members, Twitter followers and the majority of the general public saw what a sham this was. I don't know what's more sad- the thought that she was so blinded by the excitement of finally getting married or that she wanted to have said wedding so bad that she agreed to go along with marrying someone she didn't even like just to do so.

I don't personally think that Kim Kardashian is a bad person. Is she everything that's wrong with society? Pretty much. Does she not posses an iota of talent but yet is more famous than most creative people ever actually will be? Of course. But if you listen to her for 10 seconds talk with that weird baby voice you realize that she's really not even intelligent enough to do anything really bad on purpose because she probably couldn't even figure out how to do so. So deep down, I don't really feel that she went through all of this just to get paid for having her dream wedding. I think she's just not smart enough to know better and is clearly highly influenced by everyone around her.

What kills me about all of this is that throughout this whole thing, I think it actually made some of the other K's look better, which I was pretty sure was impossible. Take Kourtney, who everyone is begging to get married to her baby daddy Scott. She could easily have had an almost as expensive wedding as Kim with the same amount of media coverage, and she's choosing not to. I personally think it's because deep down she knows that Scott is a giant tool and doesn't want to be stuck with him forever (although I don't know why she would think that, as it's clearly not the case with unions in this family). I hate to even think this, but I sort of commend her. Yeah, she did things backwards and probably shouldn't have let herself get knocked up by a guy while he was in the middle of an alcoholic raging period in his life, but at least she has the sense to know that she shouldn't go and get married now just because she can.

And Khloe!!! Who would have known that she would have the example relationship in this family?! Everyone said her and Lamar wouldn't last after being engaged for 9 days, and it's been like 2 years and they're still together. Now I know that that is by no means a union to put your money on, but at least she and Lamar actually seem like they like each other. They managed to convince us during their wedding special and subsequent spin off that they were madly in love as we watched them slobber all over each other, unlike the painful, icy conversations we were forced to watch between Kim and Kris.

So where does this leave poor Kim? Well not that she'll ever be poor anything as she has a rock solid prenup. Unfortunately, we've already seen all the promos for Kourtney and Kim Take New York and Kris is definitely a part of them. Also they've been traipsing around NYC for the past 2 months so I'm sure he's already a big part of the footage. However, someone on a shall-remain-nameless Bravo reality show killed themselves and they still went ahead with their season as planned, so who the hell knows.

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