Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Lindsay’s Guide to Stay Scandalous During a Natural Disaster (or just a strong gust of wind and a power outage)

*Disclaimer: This post was written around noon on Sunday, which will now be known as "The Day the Music Died." For me, at least.*

Knowing that this weekend Hurricane Irene was going to barrel in and knock everyone on the East Coast flat on their asses, I prepared myself for the entirely likely but highly inconveniencing thought that the power may go out, rendering my day off completely ruined, as there would be no means to watch 89% of DVR, a 2 week-old Netflix, or my ultimate favorite time waster- perusing blogs on the Internet.

However I have read my fair share of American Girl books over the years, and I know that girls for decades survived without power, and if they could do it, darn it, I could too!

After losing the power at 9:52 am, smack dab in the middle of my DVR’d Dance Moms (disappointing, I know, but at least I had already gotten through Jersey Shore) I readied myself with my own version of a hurricane survival kit: 4 practically unread magazines, 3 books, a new bottle of Essie ridgefiller basecoat and a vanilla cupcake Yankee Candle. Yes, it was still light out at 10:00 am, but I just like the smell.

By 10:30 I was bored. Like B-O-R-E-D bored. And I was super disappointed in myself for not being able to occupy my brain for a few hours without power. I forced myself to get up and make the bed, straighten up the coffee table and bring all the dishes to the dishwasher. Good thing the power was out or else I would really have had to learn how to turn that bad boy on.

What I really wanted to do was take a shower, but alas without a hairdryer I was less enthused. Who wants to sit around with wet hair for half the day there’s a monsoon outside? Then I thought, I’ll let my hair dry and just straighten it later. Duh, bad idea, as a hair straightener needs just as much power as a hair dryer to function. Ugh, this was harder than I though. I felt as though I let Kirsten and Laura Ingalls and other fictional pioneers down, but mostly- I really just let myself down.

So I decided to make a list of Lindsay’s Ways to Stay Scandalous During a Natural Disaster. Just because you’re suddenly stripped of something that impacts every moment of your life and you know no other way to live, it doesn’t mean you can’t still hang onto your last remaining shreds of your identity in a time of crisis (and yes, I know that almost no one has died and this really turned out to be nothing more than a strong rainstorm, but seriously, it’s 3:30 and I still don’t have power. We're only 4.5 hours away from VMA’s preshow- it’s like someone is TRYING to kill me).

The List
1.Think of Hurricane Irene iPod Playlist. Download songs once Hurricane Irene has ended when Internet comes back. Later delete playlist, or save for next weather disaster.

Tracks include: "Come On Eileen" (which I’ve obviously had stuck in my head ALL DAY) by Dexie’s Midnight Runners, "The Hurricane" from the movie The Hurricane, "Set Fire to the Rain" (something I’d like to do right about now) by Adele, "It’s Raining Men" by The Weather Girls, "I’m Only Happy When It Rains" by Garbage, "Listen to the Rhythm of the Falling Rain" by someone old I can’t remember.*

*Apologies in advance for the accuracy of this list, but let’s all keep in mind it has been a Google free day.

2. Come up with a Hurricane Irene queue for Netflix. When Internet returns, add titles before removing them a day later to make room for every disc of Mad Men. Damn, that would have been a good thing to start today. Titles include: Me, Myself and Irene, Twister, The Hurricane (okay, I know that’s a repeat but again people, GOOGLE FREE), The Perfect Storm.

3. Paint toenails an ungodly shade of neon. Hurricane Irene may be marking the end of the summer, but I need at least 2 more weeks of a warm weather shade before I resort to deep plums and greiges. This is mainly for function though, not fashion (although I am obsessed with my neon yellow Essie that I’ve been told looks like a bad foot fungus), as I discovered when I used our bathroom with no windows that it practically glows in the dark. Take that, crazy Walmart battery people. I didn’t purchase a single battery and I’m going to be JUST FINE. I think.

4. Come up with new ways to wear hair in a bun. I’ve been working several different styles of loose chignons throughout the day. Thankfully I had already invested $3.49 in my Goody Spin Pins, which I’m convince should win a prize for engineering as I ever never seen anything like them. I ended up taking a shower but not washing my hair, so the Spin Pins are more of a necessity than ever. Bet you weren’t thinking of THAT when you were stocking up on water, were you?

5. Organize magazine clippings into a "Look Book" for when you have nothing to wear. I have literally never thrown out a magazine in my entire life (and my mother can attest to that) without going through and ripping out pictures and articles that I thought were interesting. I have a giant box of all of them that I always intended to do something with. I finally started organizing them into sections: Fashion (for the days when I think I have nothing to wear), Hair (inspiration for future ‘dos), Makeup (I may actually learn how to put on liquid liner correctly one of these days), Nails (I think I tore out at least 10 pages on how to give yourself an at home manicure), Skin (did you know there is a correct way to pop a pimple?), Pictures I like, Articles I like, Decor, Food and Exercise (smallest section), and Future (articles about how to feed children or train them to do something, I don’t know I’ll look at it someday). Did I actually put anything in book form today? No, not exactly, but I made very even piles of each category and now they’re still sitting in the same box, but organized into labeled page protectors.

6. Most important- write down any inspiring thoughts to post on blog later when power returns. Pat myself on the back for charging laptop when there was still time. Take that, Irene. You don’t scare me.

Just kidding. Please return my power soon. Please?!


No comments:

Post a Comment