What a Way to Make a Living

First days are tough. Especially if you haven't had a first day experience in four and a half years. And when you know your husband has to leave you on an island in twelve hours.

Okay, so I'm just being dramatic. All in all, it was a pretty good day!

After arriving last night and unpacking every suitcase that has ever existed between mine and Steve's families, I sat there staring at my rolling rack (oh yes, there's a rolling rack. And a small closet. And three dressers. But I digress). I was completely overwhelmed with figuring out what I was going to wear the next day. For those of you who are new around here, in my former job, I was under a strict dress code of:

A.) Black bottoms or a black dress
B.) A solid colored top
C.) A black outer layer (cardigan, blazer, vest, etc.)
D.) Black closed toed shoes

Are we seeing a theme here? 

Even as I went to bed, I had no idea what I was going to show up at my new job in on my first day. I figured that better I get some sleep, and I would just wake up the following day and a gang of singing cartoon birds would select something fabulous for me. 

via

When that didn't happen, I had to figure something out on my own. Thanks again for the unrealistic expectations, Disney. 

I finally had the chance to dress like myself. And they say you only have one chance to make a good first impression. But who was I without the constraints of funeral wear? What outfit represented me and my personality, but was also professional? How does one say, "I'm super fun and you probably want to be friends with me, but I'm also way smart, reliable and completely and utterly perfect for this job that you took kind of a chance on hiring me for?"

I'm sure J.Crew has fourteen pages in an upcoming catalogue devoted to just that. But me? I was on my own. After much deliberation and continuously suppressing my desire to just wear everything I own like Joey did to Chandler that time on Friends, I settled on what I thought was the right amount of details to rock on a first day. Polka dots + Pink + Unique Jewelry + Interesting Details + Resoled Comfortable Heels = First Day on the Job Lindsay. 

working girl... minus the tennis shoes, perm & horrible plastic surgery.

I purchased this skirt at Boutique last July when I visited Stowe, VT for the first time with Steve's family. I bought it with the hope that someday I would have a job where I could actually wear it. As of this morning, it still had the tags on it. However, due to the black polka dots, I figured I would have to work in at least a solid black top to balance out the whimsy of the skirt. Because I couldn't stand the thought of wearing anything boring, I chose this button down from New York & Company with an asymmetrical origami detail on the front and layered a hot pink blazer over it (also from NY&Co, but not intentional). Being that I was headed to a new work environment, I had no clue what to expect on the temperature front, so layering seemed necessary. 

Because it's still March and not almost spring as the calendar is trying to convince me, tights were a must, as were comfortable shoes, because get this people- I am walking to work. I know. The concept boggles my mind. This is something I never imagined I would do in my life. I have never lived somewhere where this was even a hint of a possibility. I bought these Sofft brand shoes from The Walking Company a few years ago during a pretty sweet sale (they're no longer available but I would also wear these). I wore them until they fell apart because I could actually handle standing in a retail environment for eight hours in them. I brought them to a cobbler, who to my horror, told me that they were unfixable. I brought them to another cobbler- a real one, like an old Russian man whose hands were permanently stained with black shoe polish and cried until he told me they could be fixed. He resoled them, and all was right again. They don't photograph great, but they have a fun little cutout design on the top and they remind me of character shoes from my days in musical theatre in my recurring role of Second Girl from the Left. I finished it off with my necklace made from an old typewriter key and a bag from, where else? NY&Co (gimme a break, they had a lot of sales there on "work things"). 

I packed everything necessary to get me through life in a matter of a day, so needless to say, there were some things I forgot. Like an actual lunch bag (which I own three of). Steve got up before I was even awake and bought a pack of brown paper bags. If that weren't bad enough, I made him take my picture when I got to work. I know, I can't help it. 

this photo op was voluntary. for me, not steve. duh.

It gets worse. They gave me a key to the office and I accidentally put it on my keychain. Which I gave to Steve so he could drive my car around. So there I was, standing outside on my first day, locked out, with a brown paper bag lunch. Luckily, I was quickly let in by one of my new coworkers and saved the embarrassment of having to call inside to ask them to come get me, or to run screaming down the street as Steve pulled away. 

Upon entering, I was shown to my new desk. My OWN desk! I've been sharing a desk with 1-2 people my entire professional life. 

they like me! they really like me! ...hopefully.

Everyone was super nice, and aside from a few technical errors (like needing an entirely new monitor), it was a great first day. Definitely a huge adjustment from my last position, where I was basically told what to wear, when to eat, when to sit, where not to stand, etc. I didn't even know what to do when I started to feel hungry. Do I ask if I can go to lunch? It wasn't on my schedule. Does that mean it doesn't exist? No, that's impossible and probably illegal. Do I just say I'm going? How long to I know to go for? And most importantly, who can I ask all these questions of and still convince them to be my friend?!

Luckily, I found this in my brown paper bag and it helped me to calm down a bit:

nautical stationary & mini eggs? now that's a keeper.

I know, I'm sorry. The cuteness is almost nauseating. But I cannot stress to you enough what an amazing support my husband has been through this whole thing. From encouraging me to accept a job that was something I really wanted to do but kind of required rearranging our entire lives, to listening to me cry when I didn't know if I made the right decision, from forcing me to pack no matter how much I resisted, to going to the grocery store FOUR TIMES today just to make sure I would have everything I needed while he was gone, including a delicious dinner of cod and homemade french fries that was ready when I got home at 5:30. 5:30!!! I don't remember the last time I got home from work before 7:00. I mean what do people even do with the rest of their evening before they go to bed?! For me, the answer was hang up more clothes and give myself a mani. But even that only took like an hour. I need some new hobbies.

Taking him back to the boat was crushing, and realizing I would be on my own for over a week (and possibly longer after that, as he is still looking for jobs on the island/packing up our apartment) was scary for me. I held back tears as I drove back from the ferry drop off, telling myself that I was going to be strong and independent, and what's a week and half in the grand scheme of things? We have to spend the rest of our lives together, anyway. NBD, right? 

Until I got back to my room and found this:

heart.stab.

He said he was proud of me, that he loved me, and that he would find a way to make sure we were together again soon. I mean, it was like Nicholas Sparks-worthy. And for me? The girl who doesn't cook, cannot dance, leaves her clothes in piles on the floor and watches hours of bad reality TV. If that's not motivation to succeed, I don't know what is. 

So here's to what is hopefully a successful day #2, which hopefully turns into more days, then months, and so on. And a job for Steve. And an apartment on the island. And world peace, since we're asking. 

~L

PS- I am in no way getting anything from any of these companies that I have mentioned or linked in this post. I just like to share things I like. However, if they want to dress me I wouldn't be offended. I just wanted to share where I scored some of my pieces. 

There Once Was a Girl Who Went to Nantucket

I guess it's finally time to divulge the worst kept secret ever. And no, I'm not pregnant, so please stop asking. 

I start a new job on Monday. After over a year of searching, trying to decide what the next step would be, going on interviews for positions that never came to fruition, and having multiple quarter life crisis moments, I am now going to be working a job that is actually in the field in which I studied in college and GASP- are actually passionate about.

I should probably also mention that I'm moving to an island. Yep, so there's that too. 

It wasn't so much a secret, it was more that I was trying to tell everyone in my life my news before broadcasting it on the Internet, which I know is weird, because I basically live my life via various social media outlets. And even now, I know I still haven't individually spoken to everyone that I wanted to. Since finishing up my last day at my previous job yesterday, the outpouring of well wishes on Facebook finally gave way to the fact that a change was a coming for me. Also I have been told by multiple people that I never made an official statement via blog, so I figured this would be as good a time as any.

I have spent the last four and a half years working in a high end children's retail store. When I started, it was my first "real" job out of college. While I always had dreams of writing, after almost a year of searching and not getting anywhere (this was 2007-2008, so it wasn't like any newspapers or magazines were beating down my door or anything), I was discouraged, living at home, working another season at my summer job and felt the strain of looming college loan bills approaching. I had never thought about working in retail after doing some part time stints in high school and college, and certainly didn't consider that as one of my aspirations (as I discovered that most people that end up working in retail never did either) until a friend had told me about a new store opening that as a child I had been a fan of myself. I let myself be excited for any opportunity to in which someone wanted to hire me, with benefits, and I justified taking the position, assuring myself that I was working the events side of it, and not just straight retail. 

Cut to four and a half years later, and I'm still there. In my first few years there, everything was an adventure. Opening a store of that magnitude was really exciting to me, and practically everyone working there was nice and friendly and some of us became very close, people that I consider great friends of mine now, people that I would want to hang out with socially as well. But when I started, I was twenty two. At the time it didn't seem like a big deal to work every weekend, every holiday, to stand all day and serve people, some who were pleasant and many who weren't. As far as retail goes, it was a great gig and definitely not your average "mall" job. I found that as I got older, I felt more tired at the end of the day, more frustrated that I couldn't spend time with my friends and family that didn't understand why I couldn't do something on a Saturday without at least six weeks notice, and just overall burnt out on dealing with consumers and their rainbow of emotions on any given day. I had worked in service based industries my entire life- from photographing weddings with my dad starting at age ten, to babysitting, to hostessing at a restaurant, to working at an ice cream shop to event planning. I  understood that the customer was always right. But after a while, I was exhausted, and I found myself no longer being excited to come to work everyday, and I just started to wonder if it was worth it at age twenty seven to already have that chip on your shoulder, to be unhappy in the place where you spent the majority of your time.

The only thing that got me through some of the times where I felt awful (besides the fact that I always felt I should be happy I even had a job) were the amazing people that I had come to know as my friends, but who were actually my coworkers. It's certain people that probably made me want to stay there as long as I did, and it's those same people that made it so hard to leave. Upon being offered my new job, I grappled for days with my husband about whether or not it would be the right decision to take it. There were some days where I was totally gun ho and others where I cried to him in our kitchen, not knowing if I was going to ruin our lives or not. In the end, we both decided that I would regret it if I didn't take the chance on doing a job that I could actually love just because I was afraid to change, to step outside my comfort zone, to move out of the first home we had together, to live thirty miles away from the continental U.S. 

By nature, I am not so much a risk taker. I was not a rebellious child. I never felt tempted by doing anything that I wasn't supposed to. I've always internalized every decision, going over things a million times in my head and listening to my conscience of whether or not I should do something. The last time I ever felt torn between two decisions was when I decided to transfer out of the first college I went to to attend a bigger school closer to home. I remember being unhappy with the direction my education was taking, but not wanting to leave all the friends I had made. I remember the panic of having to tell them that I was leaving, and then feeling such relief when it was over and they all supported my decision. I was always afraid that I would make the wrong decision and somehow derail what could have been the life plan that I was supposed to take. At nineteen, deciding to leave Cazenovia and go to Plymouth State was the hardest thing I had ever had to consider, and it ended up being the best. Had it not been for me following my gut, I would have never met Steve on my first day on campus at PSU. I never would have become an editor for The Clock, which led to my writing celebrity gossip column, which led me to blogging, which led me to meeting other amazing Internet friends, and has now led me to a new career combining many of my interests into one position. 

I've never been much for religion. I don't really believe that there is one plan that is set for you for your entire life, being controlled by God, baby Jesus, Allah or whoever else you pray to. You are in control of what happens to you, and only you can decide what you think the right path is for yourself. And sure, sometimes you're going to make the wrong decisions. I feel like that's just part of it. But if you don't even try, then what's the point?

So that's what I'm doing. I am trying. I am making multiple decisions in a very short time span. I ended my job yesterday. I start my new job as a Communications Coordinator on Monday. I am packing up only my necessities to move to the island on Sunday. That leaves me today to pack everything. And of course, I'm blogging right now instead of packing because it's the first moment I've had in weeks to be able to collect my thoughts about what is going on in my life right now. 

Saying goodbye yesterday was really hard. I intentionally wore no eye makeup because I knew it wouldn't make it through the day still in tact. The outpouring of cake and gifts and cards and well wishes from all my coworkers was astonishing. When you're unhappy, it's so easy to focus on the negative and doubt your abilities and think that what you do doesn't matter. If I ever had any doubts, those people assured me that I had made a difference being there- what better compliment is there than that? I cried not because I was sad to be leaving- I had been trying for a very long time to enter a new career field, and am grateful to have a new job and excited to start- but because it was so hard to imagine not seeing the people that I had come to really like. I cried half the car ride home. Then I felt relieved that it was over, because I had been dreading saying goodbye ever since I thought about leaving someday. Then I woke up today and cried again after seeing this music video on TV:

Because sometimes, a song will perfectly describe the way you are feeling in a way that you just can't.

So that's where we're at. I'm sorry I can't think of anything humorous to say, and there's no appropriate way to work in a Kardashian reference. Hopefully now that I'll have a more regular work schedule (and will be spending a little bit more time alone before Steve is able to join me on the island) I will finally be able to focus the attention that I've always wanted to on this blog. Thank you to everyone for your support, and hopefully there are many more good things to come for us in the future. 

Until then, carry on, carry on.

~L 

One Oscar Day More

My love/hate relationship with Oscar fashion runs deep. It's the biggest night in the entertainment industry, and I'm a firm believer that one should pull out all the stops, whether you're nominated, presenting, or even if you're just one of those people with the head sets that have been doomed to attend to starlet's trains all evening. You just have to work it, and there is no excuse for looking like a hot mess. 

But that didn't stop some people for making a mockery of the holy grail that is the red carpet. A few others managed to respect the sanctimony of such an event. Let's jump right in, shall we?

charlize theron, sally field, jane fonda, reese witherspoon

These four women were some of my favorites of the evening- and notice that not one of them is a young "up and coming" starlet. These ladies have been around the block and know not only what works for them, but what is appropriate for an event of this level. I find it ironic that Charlize Theron showed up in almost a carbon copy of what Anne Hathaway wore to the Golden Globes and rocked it ten times harder than she ever could (and with shorter hair!). I thought she looked like a svelte beautiful robot. Like she's gorgeous but I'm also a little afraid of her, and I like that juxtaposition. And Sally Field- who knew it was possible to get cuter with age? I loved the color of her gown, and the fact that it had sleeves but it wasn't matronly. This was the perfect dress for her in every way. Which brings me to Jane Fonda. This dress looked like it is straight out of the Dynasty collection from Big Bird. But I effin love it. I think on anyone else it would have looked like a Liberache cast off, but she carries herself so well that it just worked for her. And last but not least, my girl Reese Witherspoon can almost do no wrong in my book. I always think back to that vintage Christian Dior bejeweled gown she wore when she won her Oscar as like the epitome of how a Best Actress winner is supposed to look. I don't normally love black and blue together, but I'm glad that she worked a new color. Plus her hair was so good she could have worn a 90's prom gown with super unflattering darts (side eye... we'll get to that later) and she still would have looked like a million bucks. Congrats, ladies. You are all winners to me.

naomi watts, halle berry, jennifer hudson

It's no secret that I love sparkles at award shows. I think when in doubt, just throw some glitter on and call it a day. And I'm not talking a few rhinestones- all over bejeweled-ness is the way to go. It took a little while to grow on me, but I thought Naomi Watts dress was gorgeous. Like a sexy female Terminator. It was different but not ridiculous. Halle Berry is another one that I didn't have an immediate positive reaction to. I get why people were comparing her to the likes of Beetlejuice. But upon closer look, I realized how ridiculously well made this dress is and what it did for her body (not that she needs that much assistance there). Plus the girl is taking a risk- rocking those beaded stripes and some serious shoulder pads? I'd rather see that than some of the bores that show up in the same thing year after year. Jennifer Hudson is definitely not boring in this Avatar inspired number, but I think it looked really cool and fun on her. It's almost like liquid glitter was coating her entire body. It can be difficult to make sleeves look sexy, but she owned that extra fabric. Plus she's got bonus points for her awesome performance look too. 

jennifer aniston, helen hunt, jennifer garner

Do you think Jennifer Aniston even has a hairdresser anymore? I swear I cannot tell you the last time I saw her wearing even so much as a bobby pin. I've always thought that she played it too safe, consistently only donning the colors black, navy and white. I should have been excited by this red flouncy ball gown, but let's just call it like it is. She may have been America's sweetheart, but she's forty four. This dress was not appropriate for her. Helen Hunt is another actress that seems to be getting better with age, and as a crazy bargain hunter I was of course excited to hear that her navy dress was from H&M (you know, with thousands of dollars in jewels adorning it). But it's no matter how much your dress costs if it's a wrinkled mess when you get out of the limo. I was also a little underwhelmed with Jennifer Garner's dress. I get that she's just a plus one in this situation, but the front of her gown was so plain and then just EXPLODED in the back. I wish that some of the ruffle detailing could have been more visible in the front. I think the color was fabulous and the necklace too. But her hair is so limp looking, and she always has those curly pieces just hanging in her face, which is very 90's to me (tendril curls and an updo were all the rage at 8th grade graduation).

zoe saldana, quvenzhané wallis, kerry washington

You know that expression that before you leave the house, you should take off one thing? Clearly Zoe Saldana has never heard that. She could have definitely done without a few of the details adorning her gown. Between the choppy crumbcatcher, the belt, the thingy on the belt, and the ombre layers of fabric, there's just a few too many things happening here. And is this purple? Or is it gray? Purpley gray? Like, what color is that? Well there's no denying what Quvenzhané Wallis was wearing, and that was an effin dog purse. I'm sorry, I can't. I don't care if she is nine years old- some adult in her life should have told her that this it was not an appropriate accessory for a nominee at the Academy Awards. I mean, I wanted to wear a tiara to my middle school graduation ceremony and my mother put the kabosh on that one but quick. I was crushed- until many years later when I realized that there should be a legal ban on wearing tiaras in public unless you are in fact, a member of the royal family or winning a pageant. Parents just don't understand, but unfortunately, they're usually right. Kerry Washington got major props from me for working this kind of cherry colored sheath, but I'm still a bit conflicted about the top. I'm not a huge fan of paillettes, or the poor man's sequin as I know them, and I just don't understand why they didn't come all the way down to the belt. What was the purpose of that extra half a square of embellishment in the front? 

octavia spencer, jennifer lawrence, kristen stewart

This is where things started to get a little iffy for me. Octavia Spencer was fresh off a win from last year, so as far as I am concerned, she should still have enough pull in the industry to get a good dress. I thought she was the only one that this beigy peach color kind of looked good on, but that thing around her shoulders was so, so stupid. It took it to a Disney princess dress up costume in five seconds flat. Loved the bangs, though. It seems that the true princess of the evening was Jennifer Lawrence. She's like the hottest young thing in Hollywood, a two time nominee (and now winner) at age 22, and already starring in one the industry's biggest franchises. I know that she's a spokesperson for Dior, so it was no surprise for her to show up in another haute couture creation. But I'm sorry, I did not love this. I thought she looked like she belonged on top of a wedding cake. The fabric I'm sure is exquisite, but to me it reminded me of a rental table cloth at a function hall. The backwards necklace thing has to be my most hated trend of the year. And I hate hate hate the explosion of fabric. I'm all for a good mermaid, but this drop waist/trumpet skirt combo just hit in all the wrong places. There's too much of it- it looked like she was sitting atop the fabric as it carried her across the carpet. Someone who could have used some carrying was the always lovely Kristen Stewart. Did I say lovely? I meant miserable. For anyone else you could be like, "oh she cut her foot, she doesn't feel well..." NO. She always looks like this, so therefore, no sympathy from me. This girl just cannot wear a dress, and she definitely cannot wear a girly dress. But would it have killed her to brush her hair? 

adele, salma hayek, samantha barks

Have I ever mentioned that I'm kinda bored over black dresses at award shows? Yawn. Poor Adele. I think we scared her with all the talk about her couch dress at the Grammys, and girl reverted right back to her old ways. She's so powerful and beautiful and she always shows up looking like such a marm. I thought she looked much better when she let her hair down a little while performing. Salma Hayek couldn't have let anything down, as she was literally being strangled by her dress. Also, did velvet come back and I missed it?! Whatever, I don't even care. I have no desire to revisit the many dresses of childhood Christmas' past. The last of our ladies in black is newcomer Samantha Barks, who made the stage to screen jump in Les Mis. Too bad I was more intrigued by her performance as Eponine than I was of her gown choice. I didn't like it when Katharine McPhee wore it at the Globes, and I'm still bored with it now. Deep cleavage does not an interesting dress make. 

amy adams, jessica chastain, amanda seyfried

I want to start off by saying that I am in full support of owning your paleness and embracing it. I think it's awesome and we should all wear sunscreen everyday, like that weird talking song that came out in 1999 said we should. But wearing a dress that is equally unsaturated with color doesn't seem like it would do you any favors. The first thing I thought when I saw Amy Adams was that she looked drained, and I'm referring to both her hair and the dress. I liked her hair when it was a more red red, and this dress to me looks like it was supposed to be more of an ocean blue and it got run through the wash too many times. Same thing for Jessica Chastain. If there was a paint chip called "Drainwater," this is what color it would be. I cannot believe the glowing reviews she is getting for this. I do think the cut and style looked beautiful on her, especially compared to that loosey goosey number from the Golden Globes, but I think she looked like something that got left out overnight to rust. The nondescript color trend continues with Amanda Seyfried's high necked number. I swear, this had to be one of my least favorite trends. Also, I'm pretty sure she wore a completely similar dress at the Golden Globes- same drab color, same restricted airway passage.  

catherine zeta-jones, norah jones, renee zellweger, nicole kidman

So metallic is being touted as one of the major trends of the evening. As much as I love a little sparkle, I think there's a difference between good bead work and a Vegas-style suit of armor. Catherine Zeta-Jones looked like she was preparing for a role in a highly stylized epic about the Trojan war. Norah Jones... oh God, I don't even know. I was so distracted by her ridiculous bouffant to even notice what she was wearing. When I held my hand over her head, the dress turned out to be just as bad. Renee Zellweger showed up in a dress that I swear had been hidden in her closet since Jerry Maguire- serious, where did all these high-necked halters come from all of a sudden?! And as for Nicole Kidman... well I guess she didn't look terrible, but I think the dress would have looked much better with silver accents as opposed to copper. Also, if you look closely enough, the design on the bottom is a bunch of little spirals just like dumped all over her. It looks like she dropped a bowl of SpaghettiO's on herself. 

melissa mccarthy, anne hathaway, brandi glanville

And at long last, we've arrived. My worst of the worst. I don't want to hate what Melissa McCarthy was wearing, but I just did. Her hair was terrible and her dress looked like it was made out of a jersey knit sweatshirt material. It's just so, so unfortunate. You want to see someone like her look amazing, and she always makes me like, frightened when I see her. Speaking of being frightened, {insert Anne Hathaway nipple joke here}. I mean, what a clown. I can't believe she knew (say what you will- when you looked at her face all night, you could just tell, she knew) she was going to win an Oscar and she showed up in this. It's just like... ah... I have no words. Like I'm literally angry inside looking at this dress. The halter! The color! THE DARTS! And then to throw on that necklace on top of all of it?! What an insult to Valentino. And fashion. AND OUR EYES. I don't care what her other dress looked like. She should have worn ANYTHING other than this. And last but not least, Brandi Glanville. I didn't even want to acknowledge her presence with commentary, but she was just one of the worst. Right off the bat, this dress is inappropriate. But for some reason, I'm wasn't so much offended by her breasts as I was by the fact that she attended the Oscars. It's not just that she's a member of the Housewives franchise. I mean I wouldn't have been so shocked to see Camille or Nene or even Bethenny in attendance (after all, Skinnygirl was sponsoring the E! after party). But her, ugh. The most classless and famewhorey member of any of the casts. Oh yeah, and her dress is disgusting. 

Well people, we did it. We made it through another season. Personally, I enjoyed the few surprises every now and then, but overall I was underwhelmed with most of the fashion. Next year I call for more color, less 90's trends, and to never hear the phrase "old Hollywood glamour" uttered again. Thanks for following along with all the updates. What do you say- same time, next year? Until then...

~L

(Just kidding. Please check in again before next year. I promise we'll have other things to talk about.)

all photos courtesy of yahoo

Grammy Said Knock You Out

I have to admit, the Grammys aren't one of my favorite award shows as far as style is concerned. It's definitely the most relaxed of all the "big" awards, which means that a whole bunch of people show up dressed like assholes. The Grammys apparently thought they were one step ahead of everyone by sending out a serious "memo" about what celebs should and shouldn't wear, which it's clear that everyone promptly laughed at and threw away, or just didn't read at all. I think the fact that they even felt that it was necessary to send out a list of such fashion constraints shows the level of class we're talking about here. None of this shiz would ever go down with The Academy.

But I digress. We still need to talk about these hot musical messes. 

After digging through all the photos, I was only able to pick out two stars that I felt were appropriately dressed/looked amazing/didn't embarrass themselves:

rihanna, solange

I usually don't care for Rihanna, because let's face it- girl makes crazy stupid decisions, from her romantic life to her clothes to the sheer amount of naked photos she has on Instagram. I'm sorry, I know the world loves her, I get that every single one of her songs have hit number one, she's so edgy, blah blah blah. It kills me every week how my beloved Fashion Police do nothing but sing her praises when it comes to style- whether she is wearing a trench coat and nothing else or if she's rocking 90's acid washed cutoffs. No thanks. But I was pleasantly surprised when she showed up on the carpet rocking this gorgeous flowing number because I couldn't remember the last time I looked at her and thought she was classy. Of course, she couldn't go for it all the way, and just had to have a completely sheer top. It's safe to say I've seen enough of Rihanna's nipples, and I think the rest of the world has too.

Solange gets the majority of her coolness quotient by way of proximity. I mean she is Bey's little sis and spent her Grammy evening in the front row, knocking back flutes of champagne with bro-in-law Jay-Z. Normally she's dresses a little nutty for me, but I thought this emerald gown was so beautiful on her. I'm totally jealous of people that can rock the color of the year, because green is most certainly not, nor has ever been, my color. She quirked it up a bit with her choice of shoe color and her signature 'fro, which I adore on her. 

jennifer lopez, katy perry, kelly rowland

Does anyone else look at this dress on Jennifer Lopez and just think "desperate?" We get it, J.Lo- you're sexy. You've got the young (possibly homosexual) boyfriend, the gorgeous bod, and a decent career despite a few crap rom coms. So why does she have to try so hard? This dress has all the sex appeal of a Hefty bag, minus the crazy leg slit (which we have seen before, no? It's not like this is a groundbreaking moment in fashion here). I.am.so.bored. Also I'm going to need some more fullness from her topknot. It looks like a weird little growth on her head. It's called a sock bun, Jenny. Own it. 

Hi, I'm Katy Perry, and these are my breasts. No really, how can you ever expect anyone to take you seriously (or look you in the eyes) when you've got these bazongas on display? I don't knock her for having curves- I just feel like this dress is like a car accident. You know you shouldn't look, but you can't stop staring. Also there's no hairstyle I despise more than a middle part with NOTHING HAPPENING at the bottom. Although maybe she just gave up because she knew nobody would be looking at her hair anyway. I was completely disappointed with this whole Easter Elvira look.

I can't say anything bad about Kelly Rowland except for I'm concerned for her. I mean even the smallest movement could have resulted in a wardrobe malfunction. I think her bangs are banging, not to mention her body is too. But damn girl, those are a lot of cutouts. I know you've spent many years backing up Beyonce, but it's like she's wearing a sign that says "LOOK AT ME!" with an arrow on it. And that arrow is pointing to her vagina. 

taylor swift, adele, beyonce

Taylor Swift's dress would be okay if she hadn't added that stupid silver t-strap in the front. It reminds my of those old metal back braces that kids with scoliosis had to wear back in the day (all I can think when I look at this is "Kristy Masters stuck magnets to your back..."). And I'm sorry, I cannot get behind the milkmaid braid, no matter how trendy it is. 

I know that I had specifically called out Adele for being amazing at everything except for dressing herself. She always wears something black and boring. Well now I wish that she had just thrown on another raven frock. I mean, how many of Mrs. Roper's dresses had to die to make this number? I'm glad that she finally accented her waist instead of wearing something shapeless. The clashing print on the shoe is offending my eyeballs, though. Adele, please please PLEASE redeem yourself at the Oscars, I beg of you.

I cannot believe Beyonce had the nerve to do this to us after showering us in amazingness at the Superbowl. I mean, what the eff. When I look at this, I feel anger inside. I mean, it's music's biggest night and you show up in yoga pants. FOR SHAME, Bey. For shame.

alicia keys, carrie underwood, carly rae jepson, janelle monae

Alicia Keys has certainly come a long way from those cornrows with all the beads, hasn't she? I don't really have anything specific to say about this one. I think she looks... fine. Except the top of her dress looks like it came from a handbag.

I never quite know what to think of Carrie Underwood's style. Obviously she's gorgeous and has never had a bad hair day, but I think she just misses the mark sometimes. This dress looks like something a woman twice her age would wear. I think the necklace ages her too, which is crazy, because Jessica Alba wore a similar necklace to the Golden Globes and I was obsessed with it. It just didn't work this time. I also think she has too much hair for this look. She could do without about half of those extensions and slightly less bangs in the front. Plus she was missing her best accessory- her hockey husband, Mike Fisher.

Oh, Carly Rae Jepsen. What are you even doing here? I mean yes, theoretically, she was nominated and everything. But did anyone think that "Call Me Maybe" would last beyond summer twenty twelve? I feel like she was styled by the costumer from Dynasty or something. From the blue eyeshadow to the bangs to the too old for her gown (although it turns out she's like twenty seven and not seventeen as I had once thought), there is just a heaviness to this look that doesn't really work for her.

I actually really like Janelle Monae's look. I love that she has a signature thing- the fitted, feminine tuxedo- and it works for her. And I do appreciate when people try to evolve their personal style. But there had to be another way to do this other than to become a matador. I actually wouldn't even mind the jacket on it's own without the tails and the ridiculous hat. And I think a pointy spiky heel would have worked way better than this open-toed shoe. 

ashanti, florence welch, kaley cuoco, kimbra

Let me just say right now what everyone is thinking. What the hell is Ashanti doing at the Grammys this year? And why is she wearing a gown featuring a floral motif but also bat wings? I can't describe this look as anything other than... stupid.

Florence Welch is known for being out there when it comes to her personal style. Usually it's some unflattering florals or a weird headband or something. Spiky scales are a whole new ball game. I don't care what you say about her as an artist, she looks positively reptilian and it's horrible. The color is great for her though. 

If you wonder how I feel about pants at award shows, please see Beyonce commentary above. Kaley Cuoco is one of the worst dressers out there today. She just never gets it right on the red carpet. This is the GRAMMYS- you're not just hitting up a club. 

And my hands down worst of the entire evening is of course, Kimbra. I think the thing that makes it so awful is that it has elements that I like, but the execution sucks. If this has been an actual skirt instead of poorly placed tulle Kleenexes, it may have worked. And I have two words for you: curled bangs. Have you ever heard a more devastating statement?

So that's it for "music's biggest night" (which L.L. reaffirmed about seven thousand times). And all I can say is... bring on the Oscars. 

See you then, kids!

~L

all photos courtesy of yahoo

Hungry Eyelashes: Part 2

If you missed this post on how I'm taking on the daunting responsibility of finding the world's most perfect mascara and blogging about it, well then you're in luck, because you haven't missed anything yet. We're just getting started here. 

So for this particular test drive, I hit up Sephora at the Natick Mall on my lunch break, and chose two different mascaras from the display of their top sellers. Using one time applicators, of course, I tried a different option on each eye so that I could accurately compare them throughout the day. 

Without further adieu, I give you the first my first trial runs:

Mascara #1: LANCÔME Hypnôse Star Mascara $28

What They Say: "This mascara dresses lashes in intense volume, unfolding a new vision of glamour inspired by Betty Boop and top model Daria Werbowy. The formula's "black-diamond effect" imparts a glossy gel-like finish. The dual-action brush has a flat side for optimizing product deposit at the lash line while the rounded side separates, defines, and lengthens."
What I Say: You know how they say don't judge a book by it's cover? Apparently you also shouldn't judge a mascara by its bottle. I was of course drawn to its hourglass curve and glittery facade. It turned out to be nothing but a rouse- I absolutely hated the outcome of this pricey designer formula. I applied this to my right eye at 1:00. By 3:00, it was starting to flake a bit. When I got home around 7:00, I was shocked to find that my under eye area resembled a speckled egg. The game had barely started and this one had already lost. So that was a solid no. 

Mascara #2: Benefit They're Real! Mascara $23

What They Say: "This mascara features an exclusive brush specially designed to maximize the performance of the long-wearing, glossy formula revealing lashes you never knew you had! Staggered bristles grab close to the root, boosting length and volume beyond belief. The precision bristles on the custom-domed tip lift, define, and curl even your tiniest lashes. The end result is luxurious, silky lashes that won't smudge, clump, or dry out."

What I Say: I don't know that anyone was questioning whether or not my left eyelashes were "real" or not, because let's face it, that's friggen weird. But I did notice that there was virtually no flaking throughout the day. In fact, when I woke up the next day after breaking the cardinal rule of not removing my makeup before bed (can we be honest about who actually does that every single night? Because all my magazines make me think that you are all doing this every day and I'm horrible). So this one definitely passed my smudge test, and is hands down the winner of this round. 

Mascara #3: Cover Girl Lash Blast 24 Hour Mascara $9.99

What They Say: "Power hour after hour. Bold, intense volume meets the biggest brush from COVERGIRL! Get a blast of lush, volumized lashes that last up to 24 hours. For a bold look that will get you noticed."
What I Say: This was my first drug store mascara in years. I'm not a snob, I've just only been using things I've received as a free gift with purchase because if I'm going to spend money, I want as many free products as possible. When speaking to a coworker about the mascara challenge, they recommended a CG mascara that comes in a blue bottle. Now why after swearing off random advice from people did I still go and search for it is beyond me, but I ended up trying this one instead. I figured since it specifically advertised "24 hours" it must at least have the intention of being in it for the long haul (which I couldn't say about many of the "bestsellers" as Sephora, as most of them only touted their advancements in lengthening and thickening and whatever else mascaras are supposed to do). I was pleasantly surprised with the wear of this one- no flakes at all, but was still easy enough to take off when I forced myself to do so. The only complaint I have is the wand is way bigger in person than it looks in this photo, and I found it difficult to evenly distribute the mascara when applying it to my less dextrous side (whether it's fingernails, eyebrows or lashes, there's alway one side that you're less skilled at applying beauty products- for me, it's my right). And thanks to my CVS card, I got a buy one, get one 50% off deal, so I also picked up a CG cream eyeshadow that I had previously used but had been smashed to pieces in my my makeup bag. 

We're off to a pretty good start, but there are so many options out there that need to be tried. And since I will now be away from the mall for four days straight due to a little blizzard situation we got going on here, we may have a slight delay on our next round. I know I said that I was going to be a brat about this and not accept any advice and only base my decision on what I think, but I got some very interesting comments on the last post about what has worked and not worked for you guys. So rest assured, I am reeling in the crazy and any words of wisdom you have, I would love to hear. I am pro-choice when it comes to makeup, but it doesn't mean I won't read the picket signs. Keep 'em coming!

Until then,

~L

Hungry Eyelashes

You might remember this thrilling post from last year in which I purged my makeup drawer that was housing more Jane lipsticks and broken Wet N Wild eyeshadows than any self respecting woman not living in 1999 should own. I have since then upgraded to a lucite contraption from The Container Store that sits atop my dresser. I figured this would be a good way to ensure that I stay organized since all of my products are now visible all the time. It's just big enough for the essentials + a few fun things. If you wear a ton of makeup this is probably too small for you, but for me it's perfect because it requires you to edit and only keep the things that you really use/haven't expired yet. 

Now that all my goods are on display, I've noticed there are definitely some key pieces in which I am lacking. Let me start off by saying I really don't consider myself a "makeup girl." I really only like lipsticks and nail polish, which I guess doesn't really count because you don't put nail polish on your face. Or maybe you do, and you're one of those My Strange Addiction people- whatever, I'm not judging. But as much as I love buying clothes and shoes, makeup has always really taken a backseat in my eyes, mainly because unlike what's hanging in my closet, it isn't permanent. I do admit that it seams crazy to pay $26 for one tube of something that you are going to apply and then remove like twelve hours later. I could get two shirts and a stack of bangles for that at Forever 21. 

Now that I'm getting older, I feel like I need to snap out of my existing makeup routine, many habits that have been with me since high school when I first started wearing makeup (barely). The biggest thing I've noticed that I am awful at is anything related to foundation or base or powder or whatever the thing is we're supposed to be using now. I still don't know what the hell BB cream is, and yet I want it. So at some point, I need to do an overhaul of my how I put on my face, as the ladies say. I'm going to wait on this one, as I can't really justify dropping cash on multiple products (because you know there won't be just one) that are probably going to be sort of expensive (duh). 

So I decided for the moment to concentrate on one elusive item that has been bugging me for years: the perfect mascara. These are my main issues with every kind I've used in the past:

1. It never stays on. I am a pale Italian with undereye circles resembling a raccoon. And yes, I have tried sleeping more, drinking water, etc. I think this is just how my face looks. I've learned to deal with it (thanks to the insanely priced Christian Dior concealer I discovered on my last makeup crusade) but I certainly don't need a million tiny black flakes taking the plunge onto my skin everyday. I feel like every mascara I've ever tried has shed on me like a shaky black dog. Yet...
2. ...It is such a pain to take off. If there's a way to do it without pulling out half your eyelashes, I sure as hell haven't discovered it yet.
3. Speaking of losing eyelashes, mine are weird. Just like most body parts that we have two of, mine are totally uneven. I definitely have more on my left eye than my right. I'm probably the best candidate for those eyelash extensions, if they weren't a million dollars and if I was Jennifer Lopez. 

For years and years, the only mascara I ever used was Clinique. No particular kind, just whatever came in a free gift with purchase all inclusive pack. Which is probably not the way to find a quality mascara that works best for you. 

Last year, fed up with the shedding factor, I posed the mascara question on Facebook. I mean, say what you want about it, but there's no better way to gather copious amounts of solicited advice than our favorite social networking site. I got so many comments from all kinds of people, and everyone said something different. I finally decided to try L'oreal Voluminous Carbon Black Volume per the recommendation of my bff and stylist Ryan. He told me it was what Kim Kardashian used, so right away I was sold. Listen, I know the Kardashians suck at life and we shouldn't indulge them, but you have to admit, that girl rocks a false lash like it's nobody's business. 

So I tried it. And it looked amazing on. The brush is super thick and it just like covers every inch of your lashes with thick Bardot-esque goodness. 

And then, within three hours it was all over me. 

I'm serious- I have gone back to this tube repeatedly, not ready to give up on it just yet, and within hours I am reminded why I stopped using it. I started to think that maybe this was normal and all mascaras did this..? No. Unacceptable. It is 2013. We can put people in space but no one has invented a quality makeup product that doesn't make you look like a used hooker by noon? 

So now I am on a quest for the perfect mascara. Of course I will be reporting my results to you, so I'm basically like a makeup scientist conducting very important field research and therefore cannot be yelled at for spending money. However, it does seem outrageous to buy and try multiple products especially if you end up hating them, so I've come up with a plan of attack:

1. I am going to take advantage of any place that allows me to try stuff on (of course safely and with brand new applicators everytime. Gee-ross). I work at a mall, so I am going to go mascara-less and try things, and then give it a full day before I decide if I'm going to buy it. That way I can test for smudgeyness. 
2. If I purchases drugstore makeup, I am going to buy it at CVS. Why? Because they let you return stuff if it doesn't work out. Also they have Extra Bucks. I know Walmart is theoretically cheaper, but I don't know if they have such an accepting return policy. Plus any less time I can spend in Walmart, the better off I am, really. 
3. I will not be tricked into buying anything just because someone tells me it's the most amazing product they've ever tried. While it's a good resource, I'm not even reading reviews online. I already spend enough time reading things on the Internet and that's like, for fun. This is about what works best for me, so I am the guinea pig in this scenario.

So please, join me on this magical mascara tour as we embark on the search for the perfect formula that lengthens, thickens, separates and lasts for hours on end. Is that really too much to ask? I think not.

~L