Oops, I Did It Again

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...

why, santa, why?

...I'm a moron.

There's obviously a story as to how we got to this place (again). As usual, I'm going to need a little time to compose myself. If you're new around these parts or just want to relive a good old fashioned Christmas nightmare, you can do so here, here and here. 

If you're looking for me, I'll be the girl crying on the floor, covered in pine needles.

~L

Please Don't Knock It Until You Ride It

Today, at age twenty seven, I took my first real train ride. And no, the Commuter Rail doesn't count. Sorry, MBTA.

I haven't been to New York City in over three years. so when I found out that my surrogate little brother landed the male lead in my favorite musical (I'll give you one guess of what that could be), I knew I had to be there. Unfortunately, I would have to take this trip solo as it was the same weekend as the biannual Christmas recital, and Steve plays the very important role of sound engineer. Or Caroler #2, I forget.

But hey, it's 2012, and if a gal can't take a train by herself... wait, that actually sounds more like 1912. Whatevs.

I would describe the feeling as nervous excitement. Kinda like how I felt in anticipation of the season premiere of Glee this year. Like you want so bad for it to be good but you have this slight fear that it won't.

Of course my dreams were dashed when upon arrival at the Providence Amtrak station, there was not a parking spot in sight. In my spirit of independence, I assured Steve that I could walk into the station and find the train myself. I'm assuming it looked like a large steel contraption on top of a track, and that perhaps there would even be a sign dictating: "train-> this way."

"No," he said firmly. "I am not just going to leave you here," as if I was on the edge of a cliff and not at the world's smallest transportation center. I couldn't decide if I was flattered that he wanted to spend every last second with me before I departed for the weekend or if I was offended that he didn't trust that I could find the one train heading to New York in a station that boasted a facility with only five tracks.

After almost breaking my thumb with the car door, I raced into the station expecting to see a scene from an old movie. Since I've never been on a train before, I can only rely on what information I have retained from pop culture. And let me tell you, this was no "Some Like It Hot" scenario. Despite it being all of 7:15 pm, the place was practically shut down. Not knowing what to do with myself, I went to the ticket counter, figuring I would need an actual ticket and not the crappy piece of paper that I almost forgot to print.

"No ma'am, that's your ticket," said the counter guy. "They scan it on the train."

This?! This was my ticket? I was expecting at least the density of a movie stub. And who was he referring to as "ma'am?!" I slunk into one of the booths next to twenty five other people whose faces read "if you speak to me , I will steal your tiny pink suitcase and beat you with it." Ok so it wasn't that intense, but these other travelers were obviously in a far less indulgent train experience fantasy than I.

Steve somehow found a spot and dashed inside to bid me adieu. I think everyone thought we were star crossed lovers, clinging to each other knowing this would be the last time we ever saw each other. Or I just concocted that scenario in my head and no one gave it a second thought that we even existed.

At the platform I began to wonder what awaited me on this magical ride.
Me: Is it going to look like those trains on Hell on Wheels?
Steve: What?! No. Nobody used steam locomotives anymore.
Me: Do you think there will be more or less impromptu singing than in "White Christmas?" Because I really don't have anything prepared.
Steve: You are embarrassing.

I quickly discovered getting on a train is no fun because you have to play the "can I sit with you, pretty please?" game with a whole bunch of strangers who have no idea what a blast you really are. It's like not getting picked in gym class over and over and over again. How is it that adults that spend an entire ride simultaneously using their iPhones/iPad/laptops/old fashioned paper reading devices need to act so horribly inconvenienced by your presence? I'm sorry that Amtrak didn't half sell the seats so your pea coat and water bottle could have their own spot. And let me tell you, you could do a lot worse than me for a seat buddy, because I don't smell and I bring extra magazines.

After nearing the end of the car and fearing the embarrassment of having to turn back and beg for a spot next to someone that had already given me the stink eye, I zeroed in on a girl that looked exactly like me. To my delight, she let me sit and we spent the rest of ride in polite silence, except when I offered to get her something from the cafe car, because I figured it would be a good incentive for her not to steal any of my stuff.

After chowing down on a $6 microwave Digiorno personal pan pizza minus the pan (unless your pans are made out of cardboard), I settled in and tried not to fall asleep. I don't know what I was more afraid of- missing the stop and taking an accidental train ride to Florida (if that is even possible) or someone snatching up all my earthly possessions- i.e. my iPhone, new Entertainment Weekly and a pair of techno texting gloves.

All in all, my experience on the train was lackluster at best, if only because there was so little entertainment. I mean, where's Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon in drag when you need them?!

Stay tuned for what I'm sure will be hilarious tales of my NYC weekend adventure. Because if I had this much to say about a single train ride, imagine what it will be like when I actually have something to do.

-L

Marry Me Today and Everyday

As promised, we have... photos from wedding number two! Again, these are my dad's clients- I was merely the assistant, so I've chosen just to show some of the detail highlights from this couple's special day. I have developed an obsession with Scrabble tiles and now refuse to shoot a wedding without them. I'm thinking it's time to invest in my own set, as these maroon ones come courtesy of my parent's special anniversary edition from the 80's. 

We just did our last nuptials of these season this past weekend, so unfortunately those will be my last wedding shots for a little while. In the meantime, I'm sure I'll be all over Pinterest and Style Me Pretty getting inspiration for next year. 

~L

You're Giving Me Chills

It may only be days after Halloween but it certainly feels like pre-winter. Which I guess is really fall. But seriously, it's like everything just chilled overnight. And that means... sweater weather!

Typically, I have always thought of sweaters as being sort of bulky and hideous. But all these chicks on Pinterest and in the blogosphere are all of a sudden making sweaters look chic despite being super slouchy. I don't know how this is possible, but obviously I see it and I want it. It may have something to do with the fact that these girls underneath the sweaters are waif-like to begin with. My inspiration comes courtesy of Song of Style, which I discovered from following {av}'s quest for giving Pinterest credit where credit is due. After some Google Imaging I found the original source of the photo, which led me to this blog. 

sweater/skirt/tights/shoes/bag

I threw in a floral skirt because I'm just not totally ready to part with all things summer yet (although I did use my hurricane days off to put away all my warm weather clothes, and let me tell you, it was depressing). Plus I love that this skirt could take you from spring and summer into fall with a pair of chevron ribbed tights. Last but not least, Ugg booties are sure to keep your feet toasty. Normally I don't love that exposed sheep skin fold over look, but I like this to break up all the black on the bottom a bit. 

Stay warm everybody! Also don't forget to check out everyone else's warm snugglies over at {long distance loving}. 

~L

You Make Me Wanna Say I Do

About two months ago I traveled north to my New Hampshire homeland to photograph back to back weddings with my dad. I've been my dad's assistant since I was ten years old, and although that's probably against every child labor law in all fifty states, it has been a great experience for me. 

Now that I'm older and started to branch out a little bit more on my own, it's nice to go back to my roots every once in a while and be the sidekick. The nice thing about assisting is that while the main photog is doing all the serious stuff, you get to do more of the fun casual shots. Details are my particular favorites, as you'll see below. It helped the bride came ready with all sorts of little ideas, from her charming ampersand to her "I Do" on her shoes. 

Check back later for wedding numero dos!

~L

I Put a Spell on You

I love Halloween. It's always been tied with the Fourth of July as my favorite holiday. It's no secret I love anything that requires a lot of effort for a single ensemble, so I think that explains our love affair. 

I happen to be married to someone who hates Halloween. In high school, I remember I used to get so upset that I didn't have a boyfriend because I never had someone to dress up as some sort of "couple" costume with. My mom always used to make fun of me because she said most girls wanted boyfriends for Valentine's Day. IT'S ALL ABOUT THE OUTFITS, PEOPLE. So needless to say, the past few years have been very tame when it comes to costuming. 

In his defense, last year there was a freakin snowstorm. And there's already been a hurricane this year, so needless to say, I haven't dressed up since 2010. But in the spirit of All Hallows Eve, I have been reminiscing over some of my costumes from the past few years or so. Unfortunately I didn't plan ahead so I don't have any pictures that are from the pre-digital age. Those will probably have to wait until next year.

However, compliments of my mom's Facebook profile picture, we do have this one gem:

1992?

That's right- those are matching cross-stitched pumpkin sweaters. You can't see mine, but trust me, it's there. 

2003

Ahh, college. Finally you can dress up like a whore for Halloween and you don't have to hide it from your parents under a long coat before you go out. Except I actually wore this costume my senior year of high school as well, and I think the only reason I got away with it is because my friend Ryan went with me as Hugh Heffner. If you even have to wonder why I chose this as my costume, then you have obviously never seen Legally Blonde. Also I attempted to make those marabou edged gloves myself. As you can see, sewing is not one of my areas of expertise, hence why I usually purchase costume pieces vs. actually making anything.  

2004

As you will see in many photos, my costume choices are often inspired by current pop culture references. Well, except this one. Because that whole Britney/Madonna VMA kiss was actually the year before, so no one knew who I was. By the end of the night I stopped telling people I was Britney (even though I analyzed her outfit and literally copied every piece precisely) and just told them I was Madonna, which despite that reference being from the eighties, everyone got. Side note: are those the worst shoes ever made? Thank you, Payless. You're always there for a girl on a Halloween budget. 

2005

Finally, we're getting somewhere with the timeliness of these costumes. This was right after Dukes of Hazzard came out and Jessica Simpson was all skinny and gorgeous and wearing non-mom jeans. I got those cowboy boots for my birthday and worked them into every outfit I could, despite the fact that I am quite possibly the least country girl you will ever meet. Also I was real proud of myself for figuring out how to apply fake eyelashes without assistance. 

2006

Okay this one isn't one of my best, as exhibited by my "eh?" pose in this picture. In my defense, I had not planned a Halloween costume that year, and I was in St. Louis with my fellow Clockers for a journalism conference. We decided last minute to hit up the hotel bar for some karaoke. Those are my pajamas/work out clothes. Minus the work out part. Wait, no- I actually did buy this outfit to play intramural floor hockey in. Betcha didn't see that one coming, huh?!

2007

RIP, Amy Winehouse. This is one of my favorite costumes ever. For some reason I loved wearing that tattoo shirt. I think I loved this one so much because this is what Halloween is all about- being someone other than yourself. This is definitely the anti-Lindsay in every sense. I even blacked out one of my teeth. It was serious.

2007

Not sure how I managed two costumes that year, but I'm guessing this one was an afterthought, because I know for a fact I was wearing all pieces I already owned. Shocker. 

2008

Another repeat! I'm mildly horrified as repeating outfits is one of my personal pet peeves. In my defense, I know that was the first real week of my job and this party was actually a week after Halloween, so only half the people in attendance were in costume anyway. But look! A couple costume! My dream finally came true. 

2009

Oh, the irony. The same year I get engaged I also dressed as a "Single Lady." However I did hear later that I was kind of a bitch about it, constantly reminding everyone that I was engaged and he did in fact "put a ring on it." Regardless, this was another good one because it required so few pieces- I mean, who doesn't already own a leotard, oversized costume earrings and a Bump It? 

2010

I mean, seriously, is this one of the greatest couples costumes ever or what? Okay, so I'm not exactly impartial. But I was so excited that I got Steve to agree to this, and I was super proud of him for making his own costume. I had no idea what he was going to wear, and when I left for work that day I just begged him to have something. By the time I got home he had found an American Eagle shirt at the Salvation Army and made a varsity jacket out of this stick on shiny material and a $3 crew neck sweatshirt. We even carved a Glee logo into our pumpkin that year. Too bad this costume only saw the bar at TGI Friday's. 

And since then? Nothing. As previously stated, the Great Halloween Snowstorm of 2011 squashed any plans for last year, and so far I have done exactly this much celebrating: 

amok amok amok.

I have resolved for next year to actually do something awesome for Halloween. That gives me plenty of time to come up with my costume. 

So I will leave you with this. A picture from my very first Halloween. Steve once saw this picture at my house and tried to indite my parents for child endangerment. I say that this means that your parents love you extra because they wanted to make your first Halloween so special. Or according to my mother, "when you have your first child you just think that there are certain things you're supposed to do."

Happy Halloween kiddos. Try to stay safer than this. 

~L

Don't It Make You Mad About It

I wasn't going to talk about this. 

But then this came out today:

photo

So clearly, there are some things we need to discuss. 

Let's just put it right out there- this has got to be the worst celebrity wedding magazine cover photo of all time.

There. I SAID IT. 

To be fair, I may be slightly biased, because I sort of already hated them to begin with. 

Okay, that sounds bad. Hate is bad. I don't know them or anything. Plus hatred implies that I feel that strongly towards them. I don't. Personally, I have always found them separately irritating and now super boring as a couple. I was never an N*Sync fan and I couldn't tell you one movie of hers that I have ever liked.

So when I found out these two were getting married this past weekend in Italy, I could have cared less. I mean sure, I devoted the appropriate amount of attention (a singular Facebook status) out of respect for the sanctimony that is a celebrity union, but it's not like I was holding my breath waiting for these pics or anything. And given the private (cough cough boring) nature of their courtship and engagement, I certainly never thought we'd see a Kardashian-sized spread in People of all places. 

But enough about them. Can we please talk about this photo?

I'm having trouble gathering my thoughts about everything that is wrong with it. I think a formal list is in order:

1. The biggest elephant in the room. Or should I say bird. Or pterodactyl. What the eff is he doing? Here she is, on her wedding day, just lounging on the ground (?!?!?!) in her best Giambattista Valli, getting her bridal portrait done, and BAM! Girl looks like she's seconds away from getting her train squashed by the D*ck In a Box guy. In fact when I first saw this picture I thought it was an outtake from a Lonely Island video. 

photo

2. She looks like a cross between a doll and a robot. He looks like he's at a frat party. I find it hard to believe these two were at the same event, let alone agreeing to spend their foreseeable future as husband and wife. I'm all for fun wedding photos, but in order for this to work, both people need to be having the fun. 

3. Dude, you're wrinkling your Tom Ford tux. TOM FORD. Show some manners. 

4. You can't tell me that these two aren't big enough that they couldn't have forced People to hold off on the Sandusky victim for another week. Because nothing screams "I do" like a big fat expose on one of the grossest perverts of all time. And it's right next to her face. It's like a horribly placed thought bubble. 

5. I'm sorry, but is anyone else dying over the Britney photo in the corner? Don't get me wrong- based on my previous opinions, I am actually sort of loving this. But if you were the new Mrs. Justin Timberlake, wouldn't you just die? That would be the only thing I would see. Again, like there was no other spot for a Britney photo other than on eye level with JT. These two are the Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston of the pop music world. I mean, Brad Pitt has six children with another woman and Jen is engaged and still, no one can just let it go. And most of us will never get over these two either. I hope someone wakes Brit Brit up long enough for her to comprehend what has happened here and laugh. Even she's like, "y'all, what am I doing here?"

photo

6. You're telling me that the chick with the man voice from Total Recall, The A Team, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Blade 17 or whatever wanted to wear bubblegum pink on her wedding day? No wonder she looks so out of place. Also, why are people still trying to make colored wedding dresses happen? We all know that there's really only one person that can get away with this look.

photo

~L